I don’t have an MP3 for that sadly so you’ll just have to deal with this.

DJ GODFATHER - IT’S YO BIRTHDAY

BTW Sorry for both the mains hum and having the disco shits.

Rory gave me this banger ages ago but I thought posting it would be rude. It’s all over the internet now so hopefully he won’t get mad if I tell the world how good it is.

EINE KLEINE - FEUERPROBE (RORY PHILLIPS NACHTVERSION)

A friend told me that when you’re old enough to remember a fashion first time around you should quit. I’ve lived through the birth and death of both rave (sort of) and nu rave (lol). I’m not sure if it will be a good or bad thing if I’m still living and breathing music 24/7 when it’s fashionable again.

DREAM FREQUENCY FEAT DEBBIE SHARP - FEEL SO REAL

I don’t know if was the Beatmasters or Tyree who invented it but it’s one of the best sub-genres ever.

KOOL ROCK STEADY - LET’S GET HYPED (LP MIX)

FAST EDDIE FEAT SUNDANCE - GIT ON UP

TYREE COOPER - TURN UP THE BASS (FAST EDDIE MIX)

DESKEE - LET THERE BE HOUSE (WESTBAM MIX)

SILVER BULLET - BRING FORTH THE GUILLOTINE

REBEL MC - STREET TUFF (CLUB RADIO MIX)

BEATMASTERS FEAT BETTY BOO - HEY DJ/ I CAN’T DANCE TO THE MUSIC YOU’RE PLAYING

Producers had electronic dance music nailed over twenty years ago. It is depressing to think when Bomb The Bass and co were laying down tracks with their Atari ST and Roland D50 it was closer in time to The Beatles than it is to Drop The Lime!

Shimmy your shoulders wildly to this.

COLONEL ABRAMS - TRAPPED

Something to look forward to.

MATH HEAD - TURN THE MUSIC UP  (AC SLATER REMIX)

Link stolen from Data Sapiens

MUJAVA - TOWNSHIP FUNK (L-VIS 1990 KWAITO DUB)

Link stolen from Palms Out Sounds

Yo party people get ready for this!

Maybe it was the scars of Victoria Bernstein’s eighth birthday party but until recently I had real dancing issues. I was very self-conscious and awkward. In recent weeks that fear has all but disappeared - I don’t give a damn! I’ve been shaking my uncoordinated frame and getting a sweat on to all sorts of things. I’m particularly looking forward to spazzing out during Mr Charisma’s Chicago house set on Friday. I hope he plays some Fast Eddie tracks.

There are many versions and remixes of both of these but the two here are among the best and were found on the same double A sided Borehamwood charity shop 12”.

FAST EDDIE – I CAN DANCE (THE RAPTURE MIX)

FAST EDDIE - HIP HOUSE (THE ANNIHILATION MIX)

A few months ago DJ Damage and me did a really quick remix of Douster’s Nosebreak for our Frenzy mixtape. Today we finished off the track. I think our remix is extremely fun. Watch out for the switch half way through

DOUSTER - NOSEBREAK
VENOM AND DAMAGE - NOSEBREAK REMIX

There was a time when Rephlex could do no wrong in my eyes. In the late 90s they released so many gems. My favourites include the especially retarded stuff like Bodenstandig 2000’s Maxi German Rave Blast Hits 3, Chaos A.D’s Remixes and Freakwincey’s I Farted. I also adored DMX Krew’s We Are DMX album and Cylob’s Living In The 1980s and Rewind - when those two made pop it was uniquely clever and fun. Fuschimuschi’s Super Sexy Lady was cool  and, yeah, Lektrogirl’s I Love My Computer has many moments of extreme genius too.

I don’t know if it was me sheepishly following fashion but by 2002 that scene seemed too retro (lol) and it felt like an incestuously chinstroking closed shop of egos and geekdom. These days I realise every scene’s the same and none of that matters and now I love all those 12”s again.

Here’s a long out of print track from their more unashamedly retro back catalogue that showcases why most plugins don’t match Roland analogue synths*

RAILWAY RAVER - PUMP UP THE HOUSING BENEFIT
and here’s another
RAILWAY RAVER - I WANT TO HELP U, ROLAND

* It’s an issue that I spend a lot of time thinking about.

I wish I had a copy of this 1992 record by the mysterous Michael Knight on Devon Records. The 12″ costs £90 on Discogs so all I have are these mid-fi MP3s.

MICHAEL KNIGHT - KNIGHT RYDER (12″ VERSION)
MICHAEL KNIGHT- KNIGHT RYDER (DUB MIX)
MICHAEL KNIGHT- KNIGHT RYDER (HIP HOUSE MIX)

This 1988 Steve ‘Silk’ Hurley remix of Roberta Flack’s heartfelt song about being dumped takes it to another level. The vocal’s really sad but the beat is so acid it makes me want to hump the walls. There’s another remix from my numero uno hip-hop- hebrew Arthur Baker on the a-side but it’s nowhere near as good.

ROBERTA FLACK - UH UH OOH LOOK OUT, HERE IT COMES (STEVE HURLEY HOUSE MIX)

How the hell did that happen? At 3am I was having the worst night in recent months. The Korsan was empty and the manager said if Melanie Houston didn’t stop playing techno he’d… well… I didn’t stick around to find out. Things changed. Fast forward 90 mins I was having fun and… OMG… the manager was dancing along too!

Anyway back to 3am… I missed my DJ set due to technical problems and was in a stinking mood. The few that came were leaving and by then there were just 10 people. I was in such a bad mood even my reassuring friends were unable to offer comfort - a lot of them had gone - sob, sob, etc.

It was pretty bleak but as the Korsan emptied out leaving just the Night Slugs crew I stopped focusing on everybody else and started focusing on the only thing that was reality - the music - it was suddenly getting REALLY good when GUNIT played. I came on and had a blast spinning back to back with Jam City, Charisma and the star of the show Melanie - that girl is crazy and fun - she was the party. I played Chimo Bayo, Adult, Black Devil Disco Club, DIE, Fast Eddie and… er… Miss Kittin and the Hacker. She played horrible shit which just sounded SO right. Even after the lights went on she kept playing track after track and we kept dancing for at least an hour.

At 4.30 we were so danced out that we had to take the needles off the decks to stop her playing. That couldn’t stop her - she started playing a skipped CD glitch?!? (or maybe it was static) and cross fading a rhythm and filtering and EQing the sound into the most amazing minimal beat - for five incredible minutes. It reminded me of that Viz cartoon character, Ravey Davey, who danced to pneumatic drills in the street or Tires in Spaced with zebra crossing beeps. I felt like I was on drugs. In fact, maybe I was, perhaps somebody put something in my drink??? Back to bed now.

Mixes from JAM CITY and MELANIE HOUSTON now on Divshare.

I miss Adam. I haven’t got a clue what he’s doing now. For about a year after I met him outside the drummer from Franz Ferdinand’s wedding reception until I spazzed out at him at Catch about house music we were pretty close.

My favourite memories include when he took me on my first trip to Uptown Records - I bought a white label of Forward (it came in the shop that day), and when we cleared the dancefloor of 7 Year Glitch with Sash’s Encore une Fois. I remember him being dead impressed with this acid 12″ made by NYC reggae producer Bobby Konders for Nu Groove and scribbling all over the sleeve.

It wasn’t all good times and drama, Adam made some good music too - check this DJ Assault/Doobie Brothers Baltimore style bootleg - I’d kill to remix it.